Book of Pentacles, part 3: Chikyuu-no Hakkyoo (Earth Insanity)


A DBZ fanfiction by LadyRivka


They waited.


Amidst a sea of fighting hopefuls, boasting about how they were going to get into the 16 spots and defeat a man named "Mr. Satan", Kibito and ‘Shin waited patiently, being careful not to show any affection towards each other, nor to say anything about their mission.


An Earth week was not a long wait; but the restraints the immortal pair placed upon themselves were proving to be quite a burden. No touching, no talking. Just the use of telepathy to get their points across. It was very hard on them, for sometimes they felt they needed to utter something or to hold the other’s hand to reinforce the telepathic messages.


They felt the heat of a thousand eyes staring upon them, wondering what the hell a short purple guy with a mohawk and a tall red fellow with a perennially sour expression on his face were doing at a tournament. They didn’t need to arouse more suspicion, especially on this planet, by making any sort of romantic gestures.


I wonder when it’s going to start, thought the god to his taller comrade.


I don’t know, sir, responded Kibito. We will wait. The "bodyguard" sighed, slightly audible.


Would you like some food?


I’m rather uneasy about Earth cuisine after the pizza incident, but I am hungry. The two made their way to the udon booth to get some noodles.


Surprisingly, they were delicious, and they didn’t burn one’s palate like the hot pizza cheese. Both were satisfied with their fill.


Next time, we’re going to get more udon, ne? thought Kaiooshin-sama.


Hai, Kaiooshin-sama. Kibito smiled. Kaiooshin-sama always had good taste in everything…




Although an Earth week was a short wait, the two immortals had essentially shut down the udon booth with their incessant eating to escape boredom. Sometimes they were tempted to share a bowl, and hope to end up munching on the same noodle, á la Lady and the Tramp, but they didn’t. They were here on business, not on vacation.


One of the monks stepped in, excited. "Ladies and gentlemen, the punching machine is up! Please leave the area in a calm and orderly fashion!" Before the monk could finish his sentence, the two immortals "kai-kai"ed out into the punching stage. A mob of excited mortals rushed by them, hassling to form a line for the punching machine.


Kibito-san, let us just go towards the back.




Kibito and Kaiooshin slowly walked towards the end of the line, and, if by some mystical force, some mortals had opened up a place for them to stand in.


Nice people, these Earthlings, thought Kaiooshin. Don’t you agree?


Well, sir, that was your own doing, and we know that. Kibito smiled as best he could.


They watched as the champion, the aforementioned "Mr. Satan", got the first punch, and scored a 139. People ooh’ed and aww’ed, but, as far as the god could tell, he was still fairly weak compared to some others on this sphere.


He was correct. A woman, with bobbed blond hair and slanted ice-blue eyes, stepped forward when the announcer called "#18". She stared at him and said, "Yeah, that’s my name, don’t wear it out or I just might have to use you instead of the punching machine."


"Where’d you get a name like that?"


"Oh, don’t worry, my father was an incompetent fool." With this, #18 put her arms at her sides and confidently strutted up to the punching machine, giving it a gentle tap. Her score was 770.


Maybe she is the one for whom we are searching, thought Kibito.


No, I know there are ki’s stronger by far on this world. Watch and see. Kaiooshin grinned.


"Umm…we’re going to have to re-calibrate the machine, folks, just wait five minutes…" said one of the monks.


A man, shorter than Kaiooshin, was talking to her from behind, and she nodded her head. "No need," she said. With that, she punched again, a light little tap, and scored a 221. (A/N I don’t remember exactly what the scores were, so forgive me.)


Others were behind her: the short fellow she was conversing with, a tall Namek-see-jin, a short man with pointy black hair, and a man, about six feet tall, with oddly styled hair, that was the legend of this world…


Yes, that was him, mused Kaiooshin, that’s Son Gokuu.


All of them tapped the punching machine gently, and scored in the 200’s and 300’s…except for the pointy-haired fellow, he decided to blow the machine to smithereens.


"Ladies and gentlemen, could you wait while we bring out another machine…it will be a few hours. There will be no cutting in line, nor leaving it for any reason. I suppose none of you will be fighting in the Junior Division, so…" the monk cackled to himself.


An Earht hour passed, and they got the machine up. A fellow called "Great Saiyaman" got a 300, and the girl behind him, one "Videl Satan", got a 175.


Kibito-san, I believe that’s him, I’m not sure, but he feels like he has the strongest ki on this planet. If Babidi is to use any energy, it will be his.


Kibito merely nodded.


Finally, after 15 Earth minutes, it was their turn.


Shin tapped the machine lightly and got a 350; Kibito did the same and got 310.


"You’re…you’re definitely in this thing, guys!" said the shocked monk.


They both smiled in unison.


"We’ll just have to wait for the draw, fellas…it’ll be in a few minutes."


"All right," said Kaiooshin. "Kibito, let’s go."


And off they went to the draw area.


(You know the rest….this will pick up at the finding of Babidi and company.)




PENTACLES 4: The death of Kibito to Kaiooshin-kai and fusion.